Friday, December 9, 2016

Anger Management...

Y'know, there are just sometimes when blogging is the only way to work out what's going on inside. Oh, that plus professional counseling, calling a good friend, prayer...A friend of mine told me when I first started blogging, "[Blogging] is like a journal...but it's on the web for everyone to read." Sometimes, like today, that is very true.

So, here I go. Today I'm wondering about anger management, my issues with anger and if it has roots in adoption. Hubby and I went out for coffee a while ago. Let's just say that I think his Americano coffee was a lot smoother than our talk. It's just like that sometimes. He and I approach things differently which can lead to friction and tension on occasion. No big deal - because it never stays that way. And, in the end, I think we are both better for it. So one thing that stuck with me in our conversation was that he said, "You seem angry." I told him no, but he cited some recent interactions with him and my immediate family that proved his point.

Huh. I thought it was just the opinionated Philly girl in me - but I didn't think it was anger.

Yet his comment still rattled around in my brain. So here I am, contemplating what might be the root of my anger? Might it have roots in my adoption development? Do I have Attachment Disorder? How would I know?

Let me state at this point: my anger usually comes out in raising my voice...that's about it. I wouldn't want you to think that I'm punching through walls or anything! And it usually happens when I feel hurt or when I can't control a situation or circumstance. That much I know. And I have read about so many psychological, emotional and developmental issues in adoption that it does not surprise me that anger is a part of my character as a result of adoption trauma. Yes, trauma. Nancy Verrier taught me that a long time ago. But the reason I'm even thinking about the "why" of my anger is because I want to understand "who" it is I am and "who" I want to be.

This is where my faith steps in. I'm a Christian. And I do not want my anger to hurt anyone around me. I'm trying to live a life of love, compassion, empathy. Conversely, anger only breeds fear, pain.

I don't have any definitive answers yet...but I'm working on it! I would love to hear your thoughts, dear readers.

Sunday, September 4, 2016


Photo Credit:

Hello Adoption Fusion fans,

Well, I'm finally back!

After about a two-and-a-half year hiatus, I'm going to resurrect this blog! A number of things have inspired me to do so:

  1. A colleague/fellow Smithie friend of mine has just started a blog. It's been such fun to subscribe and see her posts. I told her that she was an inspiration - and I should start up my blog again. So, here I am.
  2. I read a few articles last week on about morning productivity, waking at 4 a.m. (#21earlydays) and using that time to work on a project or your passion. I immediately thought of this blog. Note: I am trying out the #21earlydays ONLY on work days. I've accomplished two so far.
  3. My work-life situation has shifted quite dramatically in the last two years, and I'm finally able to put this as a priority again!
  4. Another adoptee friend of mine posted about her experience recently where she encountered...well, let's just say it...ignorance about transracial adoption. There is still much to be done in the area of awareness and education. This was the reason I started this blog in the first place!. Time to get back to educatin'!
  5. Simone Biles, Rio 2016 Olympics and the debate about her "real parents", Enough said.
  6. There are still SO many great articles, discussions, workshops, conferences about adoption and transracial adoption. My hope is that this can be a place to collect and share that information!
And so, without further ado, I share with you a September 1 MPR radio show, discussing the decrease in international adoptions and the experience of adoptive families and their children.