Conference Presentation & upcoming webinar

Hello, my friends!

Well, I just finished an amazing weekend at the Smith College Women of Color Conference. It was sheer joy for me to co-present with my friend Lori Tharps; this is something we planned to do WAY back in 2010. It's so exciting when a dream is realized!

The title of our topic this time was "Same Family, Different Colors: Changing the Narrative for Society and Ourselves." It was a overview of colorism and color bias in the United States based on  Lori's research (and book of the same title) and my personal narrative as an Japanese-American adoptee and twelve years living in Japan. We had some honest, real conversation (wished there was time for more!) and for a first-time presentation, I was really pleased with everyone's reactions. I will confess: I am especially grateful for the woman who spoke up during the presentation to correct my reference to geishas. It was a classic example of being able to manage intent versus impact: a cultural competency skill learned from Jones & Associates Consulting (see handout circa 2011). I apologized for my impact publicly - and wished I had a chance to follow up individually. If you are reading this, please do reach out!

And the conference also rejuvenated my desire to share my story and, once again, revive this blog. At least for now with this post!

Secondly, I returned home to check my email and I found this alert in my email inbox: a post by Hopscotch Adoptions for an upcoming webinar that I thought compelling enough to share! What I love about this webinar is that it appears to be a moderated panel of adoptee voices -- something I am a BIG advocate for in the conversations around families formed by adoption. Gotta listen to OUR stories, please.

Perspectives on Transracial Adoption
Thursday, May 10 at 9 pm EDT
Estimated 1.5 hours
This webcast is brought to you by ALP in cooperation with Our Children: An Education & Empowerment Series.
Register here

Until next time...

Thoughts on Katy Perry's "Geisha" performance at the AMAs

So, since Katy Perry felt compelled to open the American Music Awards with a tribute to Japan through her song "Unconditionally" and people are compelled to criticize, I feel compelled to write about it.

I watched the performance - and didn't see the overt "sexualization" that was so prominent in the criticisms. Was her kimono altered with hip-high slits so she could walk and move? Absolutely. If you've ever been in a yukata (summer kimono) or winter silk kimono, you know that it is impossible to move around in one. And it would have been deathly hot on stage. I'll also give her credit for wearing opaque tights. But did Katy twerk or dance provocatively during her number? No. From the photos I've seen of the AMAs, I'm more offended by Christina Aguilera's push-up outfit or other scantily-clad performers than Katy Perry (which is too bad, because I really like most of their songs).

Others will say that dressing up as a "geisha" automatically sexualizes her performance. The term "geisha" (芸者) means artist. The younger ladies-in-training are called maiko. It is tragic that at a certain time in Japanese history, these artists were sexualized and exploited due to the country's economy. And I recognize the fact that the geisha image conjures up that historical reference. But the bottom line definition is "artist".

In my opinion, her stylist could have taken the maiko/geisha image a lot further with complete white-face, white-neck and starkly contrasting red lips. They didn't. Katy has appreciation for Japanese people because of the exchange students that have lived in her home, according to a Yahoo article. Also, some of the critics probably don't know that when Japanese women turn 20, they dress in the traditional long-sleeve kimono on the second Monday of each January to celebrate Coming of Age Day (Seijin no Hi). This is a tradition that is practiced today. That style of dress is not exclusively reserved for maiko/geisha.

I will also state that Katy's performance IS DIFFERENT than dressing up as a "geisha" for Halloween. To respond to a re-post on one of my favorite blogs Lost Daughters, I wholeheartedly agree that race is not a costume - but after watching a video of her performance (twice), my opinion is that Katy was paying tribute to Japan not trivializing it. Would it have been a better tribute if the song she performed was the Japanese National Anthem or "Sakura"? Perhaps. But...

...as a Japanese-American woman, East Asian Studies major who lived in Japan for twelve years, my question is this: how does a non-Asian person pay tribute to an Asian country or culture WITHOUT being seen as racist? Why do people always have something to say when a white person loves Japan and Japanese culture? Does it automatically mean they are fetishizing Japanese women? How can they express this appreciation without seeming weird or creepy to Asians or Asian-Americans?

What about my neighbors in Western Mass who participate in a taiko drum group (most of them white)? Are they being racist? Or if a white man wants to travel to Ghana to study traditional dance and drumming - then perform here in the U.S.? Is he racist for performing authentic Ghanaian arts?

Especially in the visual and performing arts, it's a fine line and a slippery slope, folks. As usual, I'd love to hear your thoughts.

Adoption is like...an onion?

After reading Untying a Birth Mother's Hands by Elizabeth Foy Larsen, I loved the author's telling of this reunion story: she was so  honest with her emotions and conveys the birth mother's thoughts just as well. It's as if I were sitting next to them. It's interesting to me how the adoptive parent reaches out to the birth mother - when the adoptee is six. I understand that the adults have a need to make connections and/or leave the door open. What stands out to me is that when the adoptee grows up, will she be thankful? Or will she have resentment because someone else made the decision on her behalf. Please read the article, if you haven't already.

This leads to me to my overall takeaway from the article: Adoptions are complex. More than anyone realizes.

Recently I saw a post on Facebook, tailoring Forrest Gump's famous saying into this: "Adoption is like a box of chocolates...you never know what you're going to get." While there may be some truth to that, I did not appreciate the cliche. It seems negative to me, like it's a game of chance. And it's just too pat of an answer to describe the complexity of forming families by adoption. At the very least, an adoption touches three people directly: the child, the birth mother and the adoptive parent. The two parents in that triad scenario usually have family members, and their own circles of friends, colleagues and acquaintances. So with one child's adoption, you are impacting a myriad number of lives. Not to mention all the friends that adopted individual has or will encounter in their OWN day-to-day life. Each of those individuals will have feelings, emotions and opinions about adoption: good, bad and ugly. That's why adoption cannot be put into a box...not even a box of chocolates! Hey, I love chocolates as much as the next person. Just don't compare it to adoption, okay?

If you want to get clever and cheeky with your adoption metaphors, how about this? The dialogue in the movie Shrek: comparing ogres to onions. For those who have not experience this Dreamworks movie, a little background info on Shrek: he (the ogre) struggles throughout the movie with the single-dimension stereotypes that people put on him, how he is constantly misunderstood and prejudged, which is why he lives alone in a swamp. Sometimes he actually lives out other's demonizing expectations of him. Ok, I'm waxing a little philosophical for an animated movie, but you get my drift. Watch the video dialogue below:



At least this comparison ACKNOWLEDGES that there are layers...and that it's not a perfect comparison as Shrek struggles to reveal himself to his friend Donkey. So I would modify Shrek's comparison: Adoption is like...an onion. They both have layers. Admittedly, I'm also a bit cheeky and pat with that metaphor, but hopefully you get my drift. Adoption is never as simple as you think.